Feelin' Groovy

I'm feeling better. No nausea in quite some time! Yahoo! I'm taking 1/2 of a Unisom every night now. I played a show on Wednesday, which was really energizing. I thought about announcing to the audience that I was pregnant, but I decided not to. The guitar is a pretty good foil for the still smallish bump. Although I got home by 10:30 pm, I was totally fried yesterday. It's funny to feel pretty normal, and have the energy to do stuff, but then you have to build in the recovery time. Now I understand why my friend Jen needed a day of rest last year after we went to the beach. It's cuckoo, like having a weird flu with no symptoms.

James and I went to the ultrasound appointment yesterday. We were excited and a little nervous. The bean was very active, bouncing around like he/she had hiccups. I've been told twice now that I've got a "mover." Unfortunately, the bean was a little camera shy, so we didn't get a profile picture, despite the technician's gentle prodding of my belly which made me feel a little protective (don't poke the kid, it's ok if we don't see the face today). At this stage, babies (fetuses, pre-babies?) are still pretty strange looking, they have big alien eyes and not much fat, so perhaps it was best. We did see a hand, an arm, legs, bones, kidneys, the heart. It was cool to see what's happening in there.

The ultrasound also made me feel a little sad about the two we've lost, wondering how they looked, how much they had grown. Since we're starting a family so late, we've had to be on task with getting pregnant, which hasn't left much down time for grieving when things haven't worked out, but the grief is there for sure. The other day, I said to my friend, "I feel like I've been pregnant for a year."

"You have," she said.

I'm grateful that things are going well, and so glad to be feeling ok.